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Check out my science fiction series - The Fall of the Altairan Empire

Friday, August 10, 2012

And now, #12

What's your favorite stupid joke? Please don't post anything racial or off-color or otherwise sick and wrong. Think about the kind of jokes kids tell each other. Yeah, that's what I'm looking for.

What's red and green and goes 90 miles an hour? Frog in a blender.
What do you call it when you add an egg? Frog nog.
What happens when you drink it? You croak.

How can you tell if there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Either the door won't close, or there are footprints in the butter.

That kind of joke. The one that makes me spurt milk out my nose wins this:
Isn't it adorable? It's a Cthulhu cat toy complete with jingle bell ball inside. Now your cat can pretend to have ultimate cosmic powers by repeatedly killing the ancient god of evil and chaos. Crocheted from 100% cheap yarn, it doesn't have any little bits for your cat to bite off and choke on. It does have wings, but it doesn't fly.

Warning: If the real Chtulhu becomes offended and decides to pay you a visit, I will not be held responsible for your drooling, incontinent, brain-dead body.


  1. A chicken visits Washington, DC. He decides that he wants to visit the White House. So he walks up to the White House, knocks and a Secret Service agent comes out. "What do you want?" the man asks. "To see the President!" the chicken says. "He's in Ohio!" says the man. "At me?" the chicken asks.

    This only works in Spanish, where "El esta en Ohio!" sounds like "El esta enojado!" (He's mad!)

    I can't count the number of times I had to laugh at that one as a missionary.

  2. Person One: I saw a big line of people going towards the cemetery today.

    Person Two: Yeah, people are just dying to get in.


  3. Knock,knock! Who's there? Cow go. Cow go who? No, silly. Cow go moo!

  4. Snorting stuff through my nose? Well, Calvin and Hobbs come to mind. Here's my favorite quote:

    “The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take milk for example. Why do we drink COW milk? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said. “I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze ‘em!”
    - Calvin and Hobbes

    Followed by Hobbes saying something like "I'm not hungry anymore" His expression was priceless. =)

    1. And feel free to leave me out of the drawing if I'm too late. Just wanted to share. That one for some reason always made me break down and giggle.

    2. And that goes for any of my posts on the individual questions. goodnight!

  5. I love that one from Calvin & Hobbes, too. Calvin has some great lines. Nice of you to drop by, Hannah!

  6. Remember this one?
    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    Because he was stapled to the pig.
    Why did the pig cross the road?
    Because he was stapled to the cow.
    Why did the cow cross the road?
    To get away from the crazy farmer with the stapler.


Keep it clean, keep it nice.