Convention Etiquette for Barbarian Warriors

I just returned from another SF/F con (SpoCon in Spokane - great fun and great people!), so to continue my theme of etiquette posts after each convention, here's one for the barbarian heroes out there.

1. It is unnecessary to enter rooms by kicking in doors with weapons drawn. Most people at a con are very friendly. However, entering rooms in such a dramatic manner may get you applause. It may also get you evicted. Choose your entry manner wisely.

2. The wearing of real animal skins is no longer politically acceptable. Substituting stuffed animal skins is perfectly fine. The soft fuzziness is also much more comfortable. But DO NOT, under any circumstances, hunt and kill stuffed animals present at the con. Try hunting at your local thrift store beforehand.

3. Building fires and roasting freshly caught game are time-honored barbarian customs. Please don't do it in your hotel room or in convention spaces, unless such spaces are pre-approved for barbecue usage. And the game you just caught? If it meows or answers to a name like "Fluffy," it may be time to leave before the cute little old lady with the 50 pound purse finds out.

Have fun at your next convention. I know I will - FenCon in September. Will Texas survive a visit from me? Tune in next month to find out.