Home Improvement, Again

I didn't want to rip out my bedroom and bathroom. With everything else going on in my life, I didn't need the extra stress, chaos, and work. But, the shower was leaking through the downstairs ceiling and I'm certain the carpet was starting to gain sentience. And, most important, our contractor neighbor who did my kitchen a year and a bit ago was available.

So we tore out the bedroom and bathroom. My sons took a sledgehammer to the tiled hole-in-the-wall shower left over from the 70s that was designed for short people. We took saws and hammers to the closet and tore that out, too. The popcorn ceiling came down.

It's half back together and looking much better. My husband and I have had our share of heated conversations regarding wall colors, the style of the new vanity, what we're replacing the closet with, and other design decisions. We didn't argue over the new shower surround (it's awesome - http://www.whitewaterinc.com/available-colors.php#tyvarianseries1 it's Ambrosia on the second row down, click for a big picture) or moving the shower head up a foot. He let me pick the carpet and linoleum (which was no fun, all carpet colors in style now are either grayed out or shades of poo; all vinyl flooring looks like fake stone or wood, what happened to the flower tile patterns?).

So we're waiting on insurance at this point, since the subfloor was much more damaged than we originally thought. And waiting for things to come together is hard. I'm tired of living out of boxes in the basement and sleeping on a mattress on the floor. I'm tired of the chaos and stacks of things in other rooms.

And I can't wait to see the finished room come together.

Thursday Recipe - Magic Custard Pie

We got chickens last fall. They're interesting creatures. My son calls them mini-velociraptors. I've learned a lot about them. For instance, they lay fewer eggs during the winter. A lot fewer. We were only getting 1 - 3 eggs a day from the seven birds. But as soon as the weather got warmer, BAM! We're getting 5 - 7 eggs a day now.

So, I'm looking in the fridge the other day and realize I've got almost four dozen eggs and a gallon of milk past its expiration date. (cue the They Might Be Giants song) I put out a call for suggestions on Facebook and got some great responses. Some worked great, some weren't so great. This recipe was a good one. I need to do some more tweaks on it, though.

Magic Crust Custard Pie

1/4 c. butter
4 eggs
1/2 c. sugar
1/8 t. salt
2 c. milk
2 t. vanilla
1/2 c. flour

Put everything in the blender. Blend on low until mixed. Pour into a greased pie pan. Bake at 350° for 45 minutes. Let cool before devouring.

Variations:
Add 1/2 t. rum flavoring and 1 t. nutmeg for an eggnog flavor
Use brown sugar for more of a caramel flavor
Add 1/2 t. coconut extract and stir in 1/2 c. flaked coconut
Add in spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, or ginger to taste

I need to mess with the recipe to come up with a chocolate version. Stay tuned...

Enjoy classic elves? Check out these books...

I met Anna del C. Dye years ago at LTUE, a local writing conference. She's a very sweet woman with a lovely accent. She tells her story of reading Tolkien then asking, "But what happens to the elves? I want to learn more about them." So she started writing her own tales about elves. She just released a new book in the series: The Roilden Stones of Elf Mountain.

Check out the description:

Liberty … or Monarchy? Should the wisest of races choose such a path, or return to the traditional council? Their queen has lost the Roilden Stones of Elf Mountain to a power-hungry wizard. After all, one can be deceived, but twenty?

With the stones missing, a fatal drought grips Andoriah, the new elfin home. Death to all is imminent. Who will retrieve the Stones when the Gold Elfs won’t act? Will heroes arise before Andoriah burns in eternal fire? Can the missing elf queen and her daughter be found?

The Roilden Stones of Elf Mountain is the long awaited prequel, and final installment in Anna del C.’s elf series. Discover the Elfs, an eternal race who chose to live in a world of woes away from their motherland. Love them, feel their pain and their happiness in a land that will test the core of their beliefs and bravery. Written in the genre of The Lord of the Rings and the Shannara series, The Roilden Stones of Elf Mountain comes alive with battles, heroism, action and romance.

The Roilden Stones of Elf Mountain

Thursday Recipe - Taco Seasoning

Remember a few months back when I found an onion soup mix that made great dip mix and meat seasoning? Well it came with another recipe for taco seasoning. I mixed up a batch of it so we could see if it works. My kids are on a taco kick right now. Taco meat is their favorite. And since they can cook it themselves and everyone chooses what to include on their taco, it's an easy dinner for me.

Try it out and let me know if you find any good tweaks for this one.

Taco Seasoning

2/3 c. dried minced onion
3 T. chili powder
2 T. cumin
1 T. garlic salt
1 T. paprika
1 t. dried ground cayenne pepper

Mix everything in a small food processor. Store in an airtight container.

Taco Meat

1 lb hamburger
2-3 T. taco seasoning
1 16-oz can tomatoes, whatever kind you like
1 4-oz can green chilies
1 16-oz can black beans

Brown hamburger and drain grease. Stir in everything else. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 5-10 minutes until thickened. Adjust seasonings as needed.

Serve with taco fixings:
corn or flour tortillas, or corn chips
shredded cheese
canned corn
canned kidney beans or other beans
salsa
sour cream
guacomole
jalapeños
chopped green onions
sliced olives
shredded lettuce
chopped tomatoes

Roadkill Cats

I saw a cat splayed out on the side of the road on my way to work Tuesday morning. It was still there Saturday morning. I thought, how sad for that poor cat; hit by a car and left lying on the side of the road. If it isn't there tomorrow morning, I'll wonder what happened over the weekend.

Maybe it was cleaned up by animal control or the people who live in the house nearby. Maybe they gave it a short service and buried it under a tree in the yard. Maybe they wrapped it in expensive cloth and spices and rubbed it with oils and in four thousand years, some archaeologist will dig it up and decide that we worshipped cats and this one was mummified because it was special.

Maybe it was eaten by coyotes or raccoons. Perhaps they developed a massive case of indigestion and threw up in some person's garage where their dog ate it again. Then the dog threw up in the basement and now the dead cat is a giant twice-regurgitated hairball that will transform into a creeping mass of putrescent evil that will crawl up through the floorboards some night and suck their brains out of their eye sockets.

Or perhaps the cat is risen from the dead, transformed into a creature of the night who feasts upon the flesh and blood of the living. Dracu-cat lives!

Maybe it will flatten out into a shape that resembles to 'plus' signs - ++ - head out one side, tail out the other, and two legs pointing out on each side. Then when it's flat enough and dry enough, you could peel it up and use it as a sail-cat. Give it a spin of the wrist and send it flying through the air like a frisbee. This is one way to remember that cations are positive and anions are negative. Cations make sailcats that look like plusses. Anions are evil, like onions and ogres. They have layers.

I think I need more sleep and fewer roadkill cats.

Thursday Recipe - Leprechaun Special

Jaclyn Weist is releasing a second book in her leprechaun series. They sound like a lot of fun. Check them out and enter to win some fun prizes by answering some trivia questions.

Anyone who leaves me a comment with their favorite Irish/St. Patty's Day recipe will be entered to win a lovely crocheted Cthulhu cat toy made by yours truly. That contest will end when my next Thursday post goes live so you have a week to leave your recipe. Cthulhu doesn't have anything to do with St. Patty's Day or Leprechauns or Ireland except he's usually green and I happen to have a lovely cat toy (in black) looking for a good home.

My husband spent two years in Ireland before we met. He says Irish food is basically bland - boiled vegetables like cabbage and potatoes and sometimes a roast of lamb or mutton seasoned with salt and pepper. The whole corned beef dinner idea is Irish American. But one thing Ireland has that just isn't as good here are Cadbury chocolates. So here's my recipe: Take three Cadbury Creme Eggs. Hide in the closet with all the doors shut. Eat all three in an ecstasy of chocolate and sugar overload before the kids discover you have them.

And just for stopping by today, you have won a free copy of Nexus Point, my science fiction adventure book. Go to https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/10672 and use coupon code AA47G to download the ebook in your choice of formats.

Now on to Jaclyn's post about her book:

Twist of Luck Blog Tour

Every day a different blog will post a question. When you find the answer, send an email to me at:   jaclynweist@gmail.com

I will draw a winner each day from those that got it correct. You can find the answers on Wikipedia.

(And for the trivia question below, I'm contributing an itty bitty cuddly crocheted cthulhu in green.)

The answers will also be posted the next day on the next post in the tour, along with the next trivia question. Some questions deal with colors of the rainbow. Other questions deal with leprechauns. 

And, of course, at the end of the rainbow, there's a pot of gold. In that pot of gold will be an Amazon gift card! Those that answer questions by sending me an email will be entered to win the gift card on the last day.

And don't forget to purchase a copy of book one, Stolen Luck. The great news is that it's $.99 right now! That link is here. 

Good luck!!

Yesterday's Answer:

My favorite color is Yellow. 

Today's Question:

What is Ireland's nickname?

About Twist of Luck: 

Megan finally has her luck back and hopes that life will return to normal. Unfortunately, the magical world has other plans. Suddenly, she find she has fairies following her to provide security, dragons become a constant threat, and an imp tracks her every move. As if that wasn’t enough, her luck begins to manifest itself in ways she could never imagine.

About Jaclyn:

Jaclyn is an Idaho farm girl who grew up loving to read. She developed a love for writing as a senior in high school, when her dad jokingly said she was the next Dr. Seuss (not even close but very sweet). She met her husband, Steve at BYU and they have six happy, crazy children that encourage her writing. After owning a bookstore and running away to have adventures in Australia, they settled back down in their home in Utah. Jaclyn now spends her days herding her kids to various activities and trying to remember what she was supposed to do next.

Find the answer and tomorrow's question at:

www.donnakweaver.com

On giant spiders and storytelling

Please welcome Frances Pauli to the Far Edge of Normal. She's been a guest several times, mostly because she writes such awesome stories, but she also comes up with some of the most interesting ideas for her plots. She also has a thing for spiders. I'm not going to adopt those pets from her like I did the zombie frogs that WILL NOT DIE. (Yes, they're still alive and doing better than ever. They thrive on neglect and random feedings.)

Here's her take on writing about spiders:

I have a secret love for bad horror movies. Not the slasher flick, killer in the house, scary phone call kind, though. Those terrify me to death! No, I like the genetically mutated, alien, toxic spill poisoned giant animal sort. I like the rampaging ants and killer rabbits the size of houses. Basically, monster movies. 

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I can get on board with sharks coming out of volcanoes.

The phony stuff doesn't scare me, you see. I can sleep just fine after two hours of giant ants. Anaconda doesn't frighten me. Eight Legged Freaks makes me giggle, and Night of the Lepus...bring it on! But add some heavy-breathing psycho with a facemask and I'm out of there...as fast as possible. I'll also probably have nightmares. Campy, cheesy, and full of gargantuan animals, however, is a recipe for great fun. 

Unfortunately, I love spiders way too much to make them the villains in my own story. 

Well, once upon a time I was the world's largest arachnophobe. I ran screaming from the tiniest eight-legged beastie, usually with a resounding echo of "kill it, kill it, kill it!" Shameful of me, I know, but they gave me the bona fide "willies." 

I had to be held down to watch Arachnophobia. I could teleport across large rooms when necessary, and once, I think I actually passed through a door to escape a wicked wee spider. 

So how is it that I ended up writing a web serial featuring giant spiders as protagonists? The good guys? Somewhere along the line I fell in love with spiders. It had a lot to do with working in the pet trade...and even more to do with this guy. 

You might be thinking that he must have been really cute, and you'd be right. But as cute as he was...the Pinktoe spiderlings he was hawking were way cuter. No lie. The Pinktoe tarantula is by far the sweetest member of the arachnid world. They have big pink toes, like ballet slippers, and there is just something completely cocker-spaniel-esque about them. 

I still resisted. When all the other pet store employees purchased little plastic boxes of Pinktoes, I cringed and stuck my nose in the air. When their baby spiders spun amazing, complex tube webs and platforms, I peeked, sniffed, and went back to organizing the dog food. When they all got together each morning to feed their babies, cooing and fussing, I grabbed the Windex and cleaned the front doors. 

I was doomed. 

I lasted less than three days. You see, I don't like being left out of anything fun...and they were having a ball. Caring for a baby whatever you're afraid of is a fantastic strategy to overcome a phobia. At least for a Cancer it is. Some overdeveloped maternal instinct took over and I was cooing and fussing over my very own baby spider in no time. 

A year later I had forty-five tarantulas. It's possible I also have an addictive personality. 

The ugly truth is, spiders are fascinating! They do have a creepy factor, yes. Many, many of those scary/corny movies attest to that. But alongside the horror, spiders do a lot of really epic stuff. Spider silk is stronger than steel. They do more than just make webs with it, too. Tarantulas have all kinds of funky structures they manufacture, and their spinerets make different kinds of chemical mixes for each silk use. Some is sticky, some is tough, some is stretchy, etc. 

They also dance, groom themselves like a cat (but with eight legs!) and molt on a regular basis. The first time I caught my pink toe brushing its hair I was in love. When it molted, I almost swooned. A molting tarantula is very fragile. Even a tiny cricket can kill it during the process, when the poor spider is upside down, trying to twist out of a hard exoskeleton one leg at a time, and its new body is completely soft and unprotected. 

Tarantulas are also good mothers. They carry their egg sac with them, turn it, massage it, and in some cases even care for the young after they've hatched. 

The more I learned about them, the more the creepy monster became a character. 

Being an author of fiction, there's nothing  I love more than a good character...except maybe a good villain. Guess what? Spiders come with one of those as well. Ever hear of a tarantula hawk? Nasty bad wasps that sting and paralyze a tarantula and then lay an egg inside so that the larvae can hatch and nibble on the defenseless, still-living spider. 

Epic evil. 

So now, way too many years later, I have a cast of tarantulas, tribal humans who both fear and love them, and a rising cult of devil bees. (really nasty ones!) I get my monster story after all, but you can bet the spiders are on the good side. 

Make sure you check out the serial fiction story and blog, then check out the rest of Frances Pauli's writing. It's always an adventure.

The Earth Tigers free serial

Earth Tigers Blog

Author website