Call for Submissions!

I've been inspired to create a thought-provoking book of short quotations and really short stories. I'm titling it Beer-Battered Shrimp for the (something). (Someone brought up concerns over the trademarked series you-know-what-it-is, so the name will be shifting.)

What? You were expecting it to be a NORMAL book filled with NORMAL stories? Nope. Silliness and weirdness will abound. All I ask is that submissions be happy and silly and hopeful. Not dark or scary or disturbing. Well, maybe a little disturbing.

Details:

Deadline: May 31, 2019

What I want:Strange little stories or silly inspirational quotes of up to 125 words (this is not a firm count, but if it's longer, your piece had better be exactly what I'm looking for). I want something that will fit on a single page in a large and funky font.
Here's an example (used by permission from Michaelbrent Collings) -
I wish all rabbits were named Barry. That way, when you were out walking with your friend and you saw a rabbit and your friend said, "I wonder what that rabbit's name is?" you could say, "It's Barry," and you'd look very smart.

Multiple submissions are fine. Reprints are fine as long as you have the rights back for them.

Forgot to add: Please keep it G or PG. No profanity or explicit sex or violence, please.

What you get:
Right now, token payment of up to $5 per story/quote and one copy of the collection when it's finished. You can also have space for a bio and a website if you want it.
Basically it would be a charity collection. Any proceeds the book earns will go towards this fundraiser - https://www.heifer.org/gift-catalog/animals-nutrition/honeybees-donation.html
or one of their other animal gifts.

Why am I doing this:Because it sounds like fun. And I like silly books of uplifting quotations, inspirational stories, and weird things. The world needs more happiness.

How do I submit?
Write something, edit it, make it shine, then email it to me at jaletac@gmail.com. Make sure you put SUB and your title in the subject line. Please include your name and contact info.

Deadline is the end of May. It really depends on how many submissions I get by then.

Contract stuff:
I only want the right to publish your item in my collection. I don't want exclusive rights or anything else. Feel free to publish it elsewhere or send me reprints if you have them. You agree to let me have your writing in my collection. If you need something more legal than this, I'm sure I can come up with something.

Any questions?
Comment on this post or send me a message.